Unconditional love

My thought of this week is the parent unconditional love ie The love of our heavenly father. I asked for a life partner. He gives me the most supportive, loving and humorous husband I can imagine – those characteristics which I wanted in my life partner. Funny how money was not one of the requirements hmmmmm... I have asked for a mentor. He not only answers my request but also gives me a world class mentor. It triggers me to think of how great is his love. When we have faith in him, he not only would answer our prayers but also give us the best available. Often, I felt I am not worthy of his love as I do not do much to deserve it. I suppose it is what it means by unconditional love. When we love without expectation, without any conditions… it is not about what others can do for us or what we can get out of them. No matter how much the other party has contributed or given us or loved us, we still love him or her. How wonderful is this love.

In this materialistic world, it is getting more and more difficult to love unconditionally. A child will not feel loved if he or she cannot get the latest gadget (eg Ipod or handphone) from the parents. A girlfriend felt the boyfriend does not love her if he does not buy her presents or roses during her birthday or valentines day. A wife does not feel loved if she does not receive a diamond ring from the husband. (Another awareness: It is a tough life being a man but that is another chapter.. hehehe). Yes, material things = love. No material things mean no love.

I used to think in a similar way. My husband says why couldn’t everyday be our birthday or a valentines day or Christmas. I know he is only using this as an excuse for not buying me anything. But it does make sense. Yes, why we cannot make everyday special. Why do we have to wait for the special day to express our love? Why not say it everyday? Now, I do not need material things from him to feel loved. Because he shows me every day, as often as he can that he loves me. He demonstrates his love in his own inconspicuous ways. One latest example is his cooking for the CV sharing. He is an introvert and value his privacy highly. However, when I say I want to do a potluck at our house, he not only says he will cook (as he knows I cant cook very well) but also ensures I do whatever necessary to make the guests feel welcome. He silently supports me from behind. This is what I defined as real love and I treasure. When we leave this world, it is really how we show up in our life. I know how my husband has shown up in my life. The question to myself now is how am I showing up in his life…….

Life and Death - part one

Death has never been a topic in my conversations or thoughts before. However once, the turbulence of the airplane was so bad that the fear of dying appeared. Thoughts such as I have not done my will, I have not visited Nepal, I have not done this, I have not done that... just flew to my head. I have not achieved much and i did not want to die. I promised myself that I will achieve more and prepare better if the plane landed safely. After landing smoothly, I still did not do much and deceived myself that I will get to them soon..(or maybe not).

Last year, I have experienced three deaths in my family - two aunties whom were very dear to me (one whom I viewed as my second mother) and one distant uncle. Both aunties were just gone overnight, without any notice. These deaths have make me rethink of my relationship with my mum.

I think my mum is V, B,G,Y but currently all out of power. She has had a tough life. My dad died more than 20 years ago. She was a young widow. Had to support 5 children. She never remarried for fear that a stepfather will not treat us well. It would be an easier way out... But she did not succumb to the challenges. I admire her courage to step into the workforce and her determination to ensure we have the proper education. She also has a compassionate, giving and loving nature.

As she ensured that I have the best education possible, I know that I have to do the same. The greatest gift to her would be enrolling her in CV - to ensure the remaining years to be filled with joy, abundance and love. I am sending this intention today....I LOVE YOU MUM

There is a chinese song which goes something like this.. "in this world mum is the best. Those with mum are like precious gems. Those without mum are like grasses, roaming in the wilderness, without a home, no mother's cuddles & love.."

After CV4

CV3 was the breakthrough and CV4 is the beginning of the journey of my life ie towards my life purpose. The reason why I am created and why i am in this world..feeling a bit scared of what is to come and the challenges that i have to faced. But i have learned the courage to confront them and putting my trust in not only myself but also the people around me.


The more I learn the more I become aware that I really do not know much..Even things I thought I know, I find that there are more perspective to view them rather than the limited versions that I held. It reminds me of the story of the frog in the well. Previously in my "constraint" environment, I would visualise in my minds the possibilities. Now, i have experienced some of these possibilities, I cant begin to describe the tinkling feeling all over me.. I think this is what is mean to be ALIVE..

Now, I am on this road of being alive... I know it will be filled with much excitement and probably some heartache (because the choices I have to made will not pleased everyone)..But one thing I can affirm is that it will be filled with tremendous joy and love.

With an amazing mentor and our almighty, I know i will not only make it but also coming out more courageous, compassionate, loving and awesome (as Linda put it) ie more violet than before. By then "I believe I can fly.." hehehe...