God, grant me the courage to change the things I can. The serenity to accept the things I cannot. Most of all, grant me the wisdom to know the difference.
Now I understand why this phrase holds long in my memory.
The courage because when we have it, we would automatically have the strength. When we have the serenity, it is easier to accept it. When we are unaware, we cannot see the difference. Often things we think we can change are things we cannot. Similarly, things we cannot change are the things we can. We often think that we have wisdom. In fact, we don’t.
There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Having knowledge is about being intellectual. Wisdom is about being intelligent. Wisdom is about application of your knowledge. It is about our CHOICES AND ACTION – how to love without expectation, what choices we made regardless of our reward, to be compassionate rather than be judgmental, to be humble rather than focusing on our accomplishment. Given a choice, I choose to be intelligent. Once we are wise, making choices and decisions are as easy as reading ABC.
In the past, I often talk with knowledge but not talk with wisdom. To cite any wise person is very easy. However, to act on those wise saying is another story. To really show up in our one wild and precious life, we need to be wise,
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
EXPRESSION OF LOVE
May you never steal, lie or cheat
But if you must steal... steal away my sorrows
And if you must lie... lie with me all the nights of my life
And if you must cheat, then please cheat death
Because I couldnt live a day without you...
(by unknown)
But if you must steal... steal away my sorrows
And if you must lie... lie with me all the nights of my life
And if you must cheat, then please cheat death
Because I couldnt live a day without you...
(by unknown)
Forgiveness - Part One
All of us have been hurt by people... sometimes to the extent that we want to retaliate and forgiveness is the last thing on our mind.
Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you (by Lewis B Smedes)..
Two friends were walking through the desert. At some point of the journey, they had an argument. One friend slapped the other on in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. They keep on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." (source unknown)
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy
- Francis of Assisi
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
- Reinhold Niebu
Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you (by Lewis B Smedes)..
Two friends were walking through the desert. At some point of the journey, they had an argument. One friend slapped the other on in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. They keep on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." (source unknown)
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy
- Francis of Assisi
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
- Reinhold Niebu
Humility greater than Achievement
Hmmm..my first thought was how can I write this piece so well that you will be impressive. It hits me that the difference between humility and accomplishment is EGO..I say it again EGO…..E….G….O……
All my life, I have been in the quest for recognition from people around me - my parents, my friends, my teachers. I remember at the age of 15, I wrote an essay. The teacher thought it was so good that she read it out in the class. Recalling now, I must be in heaven for weeks. And it must been the starting point for me to desire recognition because I have ‘tasted’ it. All my accomplishments were more ‘satisfying’ if there are people around to appreciate them. Yes, it drives me to be where I am today. If you ask me if I felt good, I say YES ….
Before CV, I would most probably say I know about humility. But if I am honest with myself, do I really know the difference? For example, I would ‘ACT’ to make other believe (but most of all myself believe) that the intention is with humbleness. The fact is I want recognition for being humble.
Humility is a virtue until one becomes proud of it…(by unknown)
Recognition can often be bought. For example a title like Datuk. Pay a certain amount of money, one can easily get a Datukship. Or donate a million dollar and you get a plague embedded to the wall of the building somewhere. And if you request, the plague can even come with your photograph.
Accomplishment is about success. It usually comes without any thoughts for others. Perhaps stepping on others in the process. Often, it is at a price - one too high to pay..
But humility…..this is different ball game. For me, humility is not about signing a cheque for one million dollar. It is about giving our time and ourselves to serve to the best of our ability - to visit the poor, the homeless and the hungry, giving them love and care, taking the time to connect with them, …it is about ‘getting our hands and feet dirty’ without any thoughts of recognition or reward….
When we give or achieve something without any thoughts for credits, that is much more gratifying. And this feeling is something that MONEY cannot buy. Recognition can often be bought. But the heartwarming and poignant feeling is much more fulfilling both mentally and spiritually..
To me, humility is achieving something with a higher purpose, without expectation and most of all, NO recognition for our effort. In short, humility is greater than accomplishment....
"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet." - Nikos Kazantzakis –
In our greatness, remain humble..
All my life, I have been in the quest for recognition from people around me - my parents, my friends, my teachers. I remember at the age of 15, I wrote an essay. The teacher thought it was so good that she read it out in the class. Recalling now, I must be in heaven for weeks. And it must been the starting point for me to desire recognition because I have ‘tasted’ it. All my accomplishments were more ‘satisfying’ if there are people around to appreciate them. Yes, it drives me to be where I am today. If you ask me if I felt good, I say YES ….
Before CV, I would most probably say I know about humility. But if I am honest with myself, do I really know the difference? For example, I would ‘ACT’ to make other believe (but most of all myself believe) that the intention is with humbleness. The fact is I want recognition for being humble.
Humility is a virtue until one becomes proud of it…(by unknown)
Recognition can often be bought. For example a title like Datuk. Pay a certain amount of money, one can easily get a Datukship. Or donate a million dollar and you get a plague embedded to the wall of the building somewhere. And if you request, the plague can even come with your photograph.
Accomplishment is about success. It usually comes without any thoughts for others. Perhaps stepping on others in the process. Often, it is at a price - one too high to pay..
But humility…..this is different ball game. For me, humility is not about signing a cheque for one million dollar. It is about giving our time and ourselves to serve to the best of our ability - to visit the poor, the homeless and the hungry, giving them love and care, taking the time to connect with them, …it is about ‘getting our hands and feet dirty’ without any thoughts of recognition or reward….
When we give or achieve something without any thoughts for credits, that is much more gratifying. And this feeling is something that MONEY cannot buy. Recognition can often be bought. But the heartwarming and poignant feeling is much more fulfilling both mentally and spiritually..
To me, humility is achieving something with a higher purpose, without expectation and most of all, NO recognition for our effort. In short, humility is greater than accomplishment....
"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet." - Nikos Kazantzakis –
In our greatness, remain humble..
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Cohesion
As I drove along the highway from KL to Johore Bharu, there are landscaping on the dividers and natural vegetation along both sides of the highway. On some places are different species of plants & trees. On some areas are the same type but with different colors.
This reminds me of the beauty of ‘globalization’ whereby the world no longer makes up of countries or races but only of different background and personalities. I have been to different countries but one of the charms of Sarawak is the acceptance of the different races and cultures as part of our live. Inter-marriages of different races are not uncommon. It is getting more and more difficult for me to gauge what is the race of the person. Putting politics aside, the acceptance and tolerances level is high in Sarawak.
Recently, I receive the following email in my inbox:
Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge FAILURE because of the following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
8. In Australia they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
I do not agree with the above content but it depicts my belief that the world needs something in common to be able to resolve the challenges she now faces.
I also believe that everyone is basically born with violet but as we grow older, we are being conditioned to think and act otherwise.
The thing in common would be the language of LOVE filled with compassionate and care. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if it consists of collections of CV's concept communities. I believe this is the essence of the globalization and thus making our presences in the universe memorable, meaningful, magical and most of all, joyful.
This reminds me of the beauty of ‘globalization’ whereby the world no longer makes up of countries or races but only of different background and personalities. I have been to different countries but one of the charms of Sarawak is the acceptance of the different races and cultures as part of our live. Inter-marriages of different races are not uncommon. It is getting more and more difficult for me to gauge what is the race of the person. Putting politics aside, the acceptance and tolerances level is high in Sarawak.
Recently, I receive the following email in my inbox:
Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge FAILURE because of the following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
8. In Australia they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
I do not agree with the above content but it depicts my belief that the world needs something in common to be able to resolve the challenges she now faces.
I also believe that everyone is basically born with violet but as we grow older, we are being conditioned to think and act otherwise.
The thing in common would be the language of LOVE filled with compassionate and care. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if it consists of collections of CV's concept communities. I believe this is the essence of the globalization and thus making our presences in the universe memorable, meaningful, magical and most of all, joyful.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Contribution and Gratitude
Last night, I was reading Reader’s Digest (RD). I have always loved reading RD when I was young especially the humor sections. Along the years, I lost the desire to read. Since CV, I have rediscovered this love.
The contents of RD have varied to some degree over the year for eg it consists of more advertisements than I can remember. However, one section caught my attention ie a monthly article to acknowledge the contributions of people to the world.
In the January issue, The Asian of the year 2010 Award goes to a 63 year old Jockin Arputham who champions the poor. He spends most of his life to improve the lives of the slum dwellers in India.
His commitment, courage and most of all, the wisdom to accept that there need to be compromises and teamwork to make his vision possible has moved me. Excerpt from Reader Digest …”At one point in life, he was coming to the conclusion that large scale improvement in the lives of the urban poor was possibly only if strong community organizations cooperated with the government…...He met the director of an unusual Mumbai organization call SPARC set up by a group of profession women dissatisfied with traditional social work….He suggested that their two organizations join forces. It would be an unusual alliance between a street-savvy slum leader and an upper middle-class activist. But it was to prove enormously fruitful.”
He once told someone” if you don’t have faith, you shouldn’t be in this business”.
Excerpt from Reader Digest …..”He suffers from diabetes and had a coronary bypass. He owns practically nothing not even a bank account. In his words - This is my life. This is what I enjoy. My only prayer is that when I die, it will be at a meeting or while I’m walking in a slum or at a get-together like this.”
Now the slum dweller’s network extends to countries such as Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia and Indonesia. It connects poor communities in 34 countries.
His story has triggered my desire to contribute more to the society. It also makes me realize that I need to do more than just an occasional donation or sporadic visits to the needy. We are living in a world where we are ‘conditioned’ to have scarcity thinking rather than those of abundance. We think that by giving more to others we would have less for ourselves. Thinking back, I had unaware applied abundance thinking. On these rare occasions, when I give more I receive also more – both tangible and intangible gains.
As for Gratitude, I am thankful for all the things I have now. Even though, it might seems to be ‘little’, I now know that I actually have abundance such as good health, supportive and loving husband, mum, brother and sisters, loyal and caring friends, alive with joy, all my body parts intact and so on and on…things which $$$ cannot buy. I am also grateful to experience CV environment and hence giving me an amazing extended family, rediscover myself and to see the world from a new and more meaningful perspective.
Thank you, God for the blessings you have bestowed on me and Thank you, Linda for bringing CV into my life…
May 12
The way you accumulate wealth is to get permission to continue interacting with the Universe and the people who inhabit it.’ (Linda Chandler)
We cannot change all of human nature but we can inspire through our own being for others to change their nature. (Linda Chandler)
Yes,Jockin Arputham has inspired me and I wish to meet him one day….
The contents of RD have varied to some degree over the year for eg it consists of more advertisements than I can remember. However, one section caught my attention ie a monthly article to acknowledge the contributions of people to the world.
In the January issue, The Asian of the year 2010 Award goes to a 63 year old Jockin Arputham who champions the poor. He spends most of his life to improve the lives of the slum dwellers in India.
His commitment, courage and most of all, the wisdom to accept that there need to be compromises and teamwork to make his vision possible has moved me. Excerpt from Reader Digest …”At one point in life, he was coming to the conclusion that large scale improvement in the lives of the urban poor was possibly only if strong community organizations cooperated with the government…...He met the director of an unusual Mumbai organization call SPARC set up by a group of profession women dissatisfied with traditional social work….He suggested that their two organizations join forces. It would be an unusual alliance between a street-savvy slum leader and an upper middle-class activist. But it was to prove enormously fruitful.”
He once told someone” if you don’t have faith, you shouldn’t be in this business”.
Excerpt from Reader Digest …..”He suffers from diabetes and had a coronary bypass. He owns practically nothing not even a bank account. In his words - This is my life. This is what I enjoy. My only prayer is that when I die, it will be at a meeting or while I’m walking in a slum or at a get-together like this.”
Now the slum dweller’s network extends to countries such as Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia and Indonesia. It connects poor communities in 34 countries.
His story has triggered my desire to contribute more to the society. It also makes me realize that I need to do more than just an occasional donation or sporadic visits to the needy. We are living in a world where we are ‘conditioned’ to have scarcity thinking rather than those of abundance. We think that by giving more to others we would have less for ourselves. Thinking back, I had unaware applied abundance thinking. On these rare occasions, when I give more I receive also more – both tangible and intangible gains.
As for Gratitude, I am thankful for all the things I have now. Even though, it might seems to be ‘little’, I now know that I actually have abundance such as good health, supportive and loving husband, mum, brother and sisters, loyal and caring friends, alive with joy, all my body parts intact and so on and on…things which $$$ cannot buy. I am also grateful to experience CV environment and hence giving me an amazing extended family, rediscover myself and to see the world from a new and more meaningful perspective.
Thank you, God for the blessings you have bestowed on me and Thank you, Linda for bringing CV into my life…
May 12
The way you accumulate wealth is to get permission to continue interacting with the Universe and the people who inhabit it.’ (Linda Chandler)
We cannot change all of human nature but we can inspire through our own being for others to change their nature. (Linda Chandler)
Yes,Jockin Arputham has inspired me and I wish to meet him one day….
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Unconditional love
My thought of this week is the parent unconditional love ie The love of our heavenly father. I asked for a life partner. He gives me the most supportive, loving and humorous husband I can imagine – those characteristics which I wanted in my life partner. Funny how money was not one of the requirements hmmmmm... I have asked for a mentor. He not only answers my request but also gives me a world class mentor. It triggers me to think of how great is his love. When we have faith in him, he not only would answer our prayers but also give us the best available. Often, I felt I am not worthy of his love as I do not do much to deserve it. I suppose it is what it means by unconditional love. When we love without expectation, without any conditions… it is not about what others can do for us or what we can get out of them. No matter how much the other party has contributed or given us or loved us, we still love him or her. How wonderful is this love.
In this materialistic world, it is getting more and more difficult to love unconditionally. A child will not feel loved if he or she cannot get the latest gadget (eg Ipod or handphone) from the parents. A girlfriend felt the boyfriend does not love her if he does not buy her presents or roses during her birthday or valentines day. A wife does not feel loved if she does not receive a diamond ring from the husband. (Another awareness: It is a tough life being a man but that is another chapter.. hehehe). Yes, material things = love. No material things mean no love.
I used to think in a similar way. My husband says why couldn’t everyday be our birthday or a valentines day or Christmas. I know he is only using this as an excuse for not buying me anything. But it does make sense. Yes, why we cannot make everyday special. Why do we have to wait for the special day to express our love? Why not say it everyday? Now, I do not need material things from him to feel loved. Because he shows me every day, as often as he can that he loves me. He demonstrates his love in his own inconspicuous ways. One latest example is his cooking for the CV sharing. He is an introvert and value his privacy highly. However, when I say I want to do a potluck at our house, he not only says he will cook (as he knows I cant cook very well) but also ensures I do whatever necessary to make the guests feel welcome. He silently supports me from behind. This is what I defined as real love and I treasure. When we leave this world, it is really how we show up in our life. I know how my husband has shown up in my life. The question to myself now is how am I showing up in his life…….
In this materialistic world, it is getting more and more difficult to love unconditionally. A child will not feel loved if he or she cannot get the latest gadget (eg Ipod or handphone) from the parents. A girlfriend felt the boyfriend does not love her if he does not buy her presents or roses during her birthday or valentines day. A wife does not feel loved if she does not receive a diamond ring from the husband. (Another awareness: It is a tough life being a man but that is another chapter.. hehehe). Yes, material things = love. No material things mean no love.
I used to think in a similar way. My husband says why couldn’t everyday be our birthday or a valentines day or Christmas. I know he is only using this as an excuse for not buying me anything. But it does make sense. Yes, why we cannot make everyday special. Why do we have to wait for the special day to express our love? Why not say it everyday? Now, I do not need material things from him to feel loved. Because he shows me every day, as often as he can that he loves me. He demonstrates his love in his own inconspicuous ways. One latest example is his cooking for the CV sharing. He is an introvert and value his privacy highly. However, when I say I want to do a potluck at our house, he not only says he will cook (as he knows I cant cook very well) but also ensures I do whatever necessary to make the guests feel welcome. He silently supports me from behind. This is what I defined as real love and I treasure. When we leave this world, it is really how we show up in our life. I know how my husband has shown up in my life. The question to myself now is how am I showing up in his life…….
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