authenticity

1 February 2010

On the road again, I am on the road again... but this time to Beladin (near to Sarikei, Sarawak).

As I past Serian, i notice a tree that stands out among the other trees because it is much higher. On first glance, it looks odd and out of place. As usual, thoughts flew into my mind...Here goes... hahaha..

I remind me of being unique ie authenticity. I want to compare this with myself. I used to feel that I am ugly because I am not slim or have big eyes , pointed nose or high cheek bones. Those features which TV or magazines or people around me define beauty. Took me 30 years to feel that I am unique and beautiful on the inside. And I am beautiful in the eyes of my husband. I may not be beautiful to everyone but it is ok. What is important is that I am beautiful in the eyes of people who matters to me. This is good enough for me.

And through his eyes, I learn that I am smart, witty (often with a weird sense of humour) and that I can do anything i want if I believe enough in it. And I know he will always support me even though it may not be aligned with his thinking. He doesnt control me, he never says anything negative about me even when we argued and most of all, he let me spend my own money (hahaha). Yes, this is the same person who has caused me tremendous pain in the past. But he is also the same person who taught me how to love and felt loved for the first time in my life. The same person who will answer my call everytime eventhough he is in a very important meeting. whereas I would reject his call when I am with a client and call him back later. In the 10 years we have met, he never once expect me to change. He accepts me for who I am. He knows he is getting a bundle of fire in his life. He knows he will get burn when he 'played' with fire but he accepts it because all these things constitute me. I know he is not perfect, but he is the real thing to me.

Today, I am comfortable with who I am because he has loved me (as Celine Dion's song). I am UNIQUE and definitely there is only one Alexandra Denise Wong Ping Ping in this world. And I am proud of who I am and what I have achieved so far. It does not matter if no one knows this. I know it. This is good enough. The CV song expresses exactly how I feel when it says, "like seasons, there are reasons for the path we take, there is no mistakes, only lessons to be learned." .. Nevertheless, I know i still have a lot to learn.. Ok, enough of the self praising......

From another viewpoint: Often, we are so absorbed with our own importance that we forgot our surrounding friends, colleagues and love ones who are like those shorter trees around the tall one. We act like we are the only one who matters. We think we are the only one with a bad day, we think we are the only one with problems, we think we are the only one with children, we think we are the only one whose tyre got puncture, etc.. It is AMAZING that once our eyes, heart and mind are opened, we have a totally different perspective of our situation and actually tell ourselves " Hey, my life is not bad. In fact today is the best day of our life."


To compare the tree to our views on others: we often meet people who look, think, act or dress different from us. Our monkey mind will pass judgement even before we even talk to them. We often form some opinions and hold some form of expectations. As our great teacher, Linda taught us : we will be surprised at how different is our first impression when we take the time to connect with them.

This brings me back to authenticity. if I could describe my fantastic CV3 family members, it would be the following:

1. Sweet Sarah with her big big smile, eloquent, expressive and sensitive. A daughter I would like to have..

2. Angelic Delpine - my perception of what an angel is who comes with a strong will and determination

3.Kitty Angel - like one of my babies, Eve (kitten), playful and love to experience and explore

4. Bryan, Byran, Byran ...he reminds me of the ocean. When he is calm, we may overlooked him. But when he is awake, we cant help but pay attention to him. And his thoughts are profound like the depth of the ocean. Definitely original in thoughts

5 Passionate Tristan - intensely dedicated and passionate. self reliant, spontaneous and candiness, brave spirit,benevolent and of course, a brother I am glad to find.

6. Devoted Vanessa - devoted to her family especially her children and also to her friends, direct and spontaneous, with intellectual intuition and sharpness (Note the similarity with Tristan, probably the reason why they are married. hahaha)

7. Bold Francisca - a daring and spirited person with immense stamina and fiery ambition

8.Willow Bernadette - Like the willow tree, it will bend gracefully rather than stand inflexible in the difficult and adverse circumstance with self reliance and self respectful

9. Leo, The lion heart - with a brave and courageous heart like the Lion

10. Wise Don - the one and only Big Mama, full of wisdom and an older brother i never had (old not in age but in wisdom. and Tristan already is the younger brother, so the position is taken.. hehehe) imaginative, self reliance and confident

11. Quiet Elwin - cheerful, creative, fun loving, a sense of humor. He would sneak beside me and talk to me softly..

and Shy Eric- candid, profound, sharp and astute, creativity. He would put on the big brother act from time to time.... hahaha..

12. Merry Yarab - with his constant happy-go-lucky nature, benevolent, vibrant, strength and optimistic view of life

13. Kind hearted Mee Yee - who is anxious to make the world a better place to live in, integrity, jovial, meticulous, loving

14. Jia Jia - adventurous and independent.. my twin sister. We have a lot in common....

15. Shirley- original and imaginative, positive, radiant warm temperament, gracious

16. Mabel - thoughtful and compassionate, a perfectionist like me

17. Compassionate Ming - So much love to give, innovative, independent and a big dream which I am sure she will achieve..

18. Majestic Su Wang - gracious, noble , charismatic, and empathetic

and Lastly, Nana is the sunshine in our life .....charitable compassionate, focus and can do anything when she puts her mind to it.

Most of all, they all have one thing in common. That is a BIG HEART... I end this sharing with the following 'peom'

Happiness keeps us sweet
Trials keep us strong
Sorrow keeps us human
Failure keeps us humble
And Success keeps us glowing
But Only faith and attitude keeps us
going